Archive for September 2007
A bank loses a valued asset
My mate Raj used to cut database code for a large corporate IT shop. He was one of a team of several super-specialised database dudes at The Contemporary Bank. Raj’s job at Con Bank (as the fine financial institution is referred to by certain cynics) was developing data interfaces. In fact, he’d done so many of these, that he was the indisputable imperator of interfaces at Con Bank . Raj was a reluctant rajah, however. He’d rather not have had anything further to do with interfaces. So fed up was he, that he didn’t want to hear about another interface until at least the midnight of Friday, December 31 9999. [Incidentally, when queried as to why that specific date he told me to go and look it up in the online documentation for DB2. As is evident, he’s a true database devotee.]
Anyway, unwilling to wait until the end of time, Raj teed up a meeting with his manager to discuss the unhappy state of affairs, and what might be done to redress it. The manager – call him Franz – gave Raj a patient hearing. He proferred platitudes (“Oh, I understand how you must feel”) and promises (“We’ll move you to the DBA group in a few months”) in plenty, and for a while the promise of change was enough to keep Raj going. Nothing changed. Three months later, thinking that three months certainly qualified as “a few”, he approached Franz for another chat. Franz, guessing what the subject of the chat might be, continually made excuses to postpone it. Finally when cornered, he admitted that it wouldn’t really be possible to move Raj to another group (who would do the interfaces then?).
The sorry state of affairs finally led to the inevitable conclusion; one that is played out again and again in countless organizations the world over: Raj started to look for another job. He found one within a few weeks and put in his resignation. Franz tried to persuade Raj to reconsider, but Raj wouldn’t.
Con Bank’s still looking for another data interface specialist. They might have saved themselves the trouble had they offered Raj a little more variety on the job.
Keeping meetings on track: “over-time offender” stereotypes
Don’t know about you, but I’ve wasted way too much time in meetings that have meandered on and on. I have nothing against a well managed meeting. But I’ve run out of patience with the other, seemingly more common, confabulation that may be familiar to some of you: a meeting that goes on and on, in total disregard of the allotted time. The discussion somehow strays off the agenda, and the meeting chair doesn’t bring it back on track. If you sit through many such meetings (as I, unfortunately, have) you’ll begin to recognise stereotypical personalities who are responsible for the majority of “over-time offences”. As with all steroptypes, they’re one-dimensional characters. However, based on experience, I believe that close approximations of them exist in all corporate environments. Here are some that I’ve encountered. Recognise and neutralise them before they take control of your meetings:
William Windbag (aka Oscar Opinion): Will’s vice is his voice: he loves the sound of it, and exercises it at every opportunity. Give Will a chance to hold forth, and he will. Do yourself a favour and don’t let him get started. This is harder said than done because he has an Important Opinion on everything.
Tim Tangent: Tim is the master of irrelevance. He will take your meeting off in directions unintended, unexplored and totally unnecessary. Stop him before he gets started. Better yet, leave him off your invitee list.
Nate Naysayer: Nate’s first reaction to any idea is: “it wont’t work”. Your first reaction will be to start debating the point. Don’t do it. Thank Nate for his input and move on. Else you’re in for a long and pointless argument.
Sid Smalltalk: Sid delays the start of every meeting by at least 15 minutes by indulging in banalities. He absolutely must know how everyone, their families and their pet rhinos are doing. An authoritative “let’s get started” usually stops Sid in his tracks.
I look forward to hearing about your over-time offender stereotypes.
Eight to Late 