Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category
A project manager’s dilemma in five limericks
It is so very hard to cope
with such a platitudinous scope;
vague and unclear,
I’ll tell you right here,
of making it we have no hope.
The goal so very elastic,
based on claims fantastic.
Slick presentations,
and proclamations
couched in language bombastic.
I’ve deployed many dark arts.
Simulations and Gantt Charts.
All to no avail,
my project will fail.
I may as well be throwing darts.
My project, like shifting sand,
is starting to get out of hand.
Despite all attempts
it still makes no sense.
I really think it should be canned.
This truth spinning round in my head
is better left unsaid.
If I were to try it,
they’d only deny it
and give me the sack instead.
A cliche-ridden corporate crisis in five limericks
In times of crisis, some managers tend to lapse into cliche-speak. So it’s no surprise that things go from bad to verse…
Market churn has set us adrift.
What we need is a paradigm shift.
Get our ducks in a row,
push the envelope,
to keep us from going o’er the cliff.
The boss says, “Let’s touch base.
Make game-plans for the next phase.
We’ll have meetings and talks.
Think outside the box,
to ensure we’re still in the race.”
But the elephant in the room
refuses to sing to our tune,
or dance to our beat,
sing from the same sheet
– even once in a blue moon.
Chin up! We’re still in the ring.
The fat lady hasn’t started to sing.
It ain’t over, they say,
’til it’s over, so hey,
let’s see what the new day will bring.
In the end, we stake our claim
to fifteen seconds of fame.
All said and done,
we’ve hit a home run
in the dying minutes of the game.
Incidentally, portions of this piece have been reproduced as an epigram in Chapter 1 of my book, The Heretic’s Guide to Best Practices. Quite appropriately, that chapter is entitled, Platitudes: empty words that make a lot of noise…
SOA what? A clarification for CIOs in five limericks.
CIOs struggling to keep a lid
on expenses not budgeted,
should have no fear
for help is here –
through designs, service-oriented.
A consulting giant claims
cost cuts and many more gains
will come one’s way
when SOA
unshackles technology’s chains.
“The Next Revolution in Productivity.”
Hype’s alive and well – so we see.
But implementing software
that’s not business aware
will cause much pain and grief.
The slick salespersons who sell
SOA software won’t tell
the truth, it’s tragic
that it ain’t no magic,
but a true integration hell.
So, don’t be sold snake-oil.
For you will be in for much toil.
With nothing to show
for all your spent dough,
but an organisation in turmoil.
Eight to Late 