Archive for the ‘Verse’ Category
A corporate outsourcer’s spiel in five stanzas
Note: Despite references to this sorry saga, the author affirms that this is a work of fiction.
Good morning, Mr. CEO Sir,
we offer services complete.
We’ll take care of your computers,
and fudge your balance sheet.
We’ll overstate your revenue,
and inflate profits.
Thus boosting your share value
in global stock markets.
We’ll find you well-known auditors
to sign off your accounts.
A thumbs-up from their managers
will put to rest all doubts.
Soon you’ll get rewards for sure,
despite such malfeasance.
Trophies and awards galore
for corporate governance.
I trust our varied expertise
gives you confidence.
We’ll take good care of your IT
…and your finances.
A scope management farce in five limericks
It began as some projects do,
with users who hadn’t a clue.
Their requirements
made no sense,
filling merely a page or two.
The PM, he knew the score.
He asked the users for more.
They flatly declined
saying “We have no time,”
and booted him out the door.
The PM, now filled with dread,
went to the sponsor and said,
“We cannot proceed.”
The boss disagreed,
commanding him to press ahead.
The team, though flying blind,
worked hard (no time to unwind).
Built an app to the spec,
but the users said, “Heck,
this ain’t what we had in mind.”
The moral is clear to see:
With specs unclear or murky,
you’d do well to try
using techniques agile,
delivering frequently.
—
Some recent posts in my “five limericks” series are:
A cliche-ridden corporate crisis in five limericks
SOA what? A clarification for CIOs in five limericks
A cynic’s introduction to project management artefacts in five limericks
An IT system tragedy in five limericks
A cliche-ridden corporate crisis in five limericks
In times of crisis, some managers tend to lapse into cliche-speak. So it’s no surprise that things go from bad to verse…
Market churn has set us adrift.
What we need is a paradigm shift.
Get our ducks in a row,
push the envelope,
to keep us from going o’er the cliff.
The boss says, “Let’s touch base.
Make game-plans for the next phase.
We’ll have meetings and talks.
Think outside the box,
to ensure we’re still in the race.”
But the elephant in the room
refuses to sing to our tune,
or dance to our beat,
sing from the same sheet
– even once in a blue moon.
Chin up! We’re still in the ring.
The fat lady hasn’t started to sing.
It ain’t over, they say,
’til it’s over, so hey,
let’s see what the new day will bring.
In the end, we stake our claim
to fifteen seconds of fame.
All said and done,
we’ve hit a home run
in the dying minutes of the game.
Incidentally, portions of this piece have been reproduced as an epigram in Chapter 1 of my book, The Heretic’s Guide to Best Practices. Quite appropriately, that chapter is entitled, Platitudes: empty words that make a lot of noise…
Eight to Late 